seekingthelionsheart

Christian Pickup Lines

2009-01-29T19:22:00.000-08:00

I got this from my cousin Daniella, so i wanted to share them. Some are pretty funny, some are dumb, and some i dont get... enjoy. I like #67

1. "nice bible."

2. "is this pew taken?"

3. "i just don't feel called to celibacy."

4. "for you i would slay two Goliaths"

5. "i would go through more than Job for you"

6. "you are perfect, except with all the sin."

7. "when Moses struck the rock, water flowed from it like a river. i promise i will never strike you."

8. "you are so unblemished that i would sacrifice you."

9. "what, this here? oh.. thats my study bible - it's a little bigger but i can handle the extra spiritual and physical weight."

10. "shall we tithe?"

11. "at points in my life i have been referred to as Samson"

12. "the word says 'Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry'; how about dinner?"

13. "i didnt believe in predestination until tonight."

14. "im not like those other Christ Church guys."

15. "i believe one of my ribs belongs to you."

16. "i know Lachlan Payne."

17. (if no.16 gains no response) "Lachlan Payne knows me"

18. "i went on a beach mission but all I ended up doing was mission you."

19. "i can be your Boaz."

20. "my spiritual gift is my good looks... it lifts peoples spirits"

21. "i sacrifice my sunday mornings to look after the creche group. its tough... but i love children."

22. "is this the transfiguration.. because you are glowing"

23. "i have a job and im willing to move out of home."

24. "mark driscoll takes up 35% of my ipod memory."

25. "hey.. i would work 7 years for your sister.. but i would work 7 more years for you."

26. "im kind of a big deal at Koorong"

27. "hey good-looking, Ecclesiastes 4:11..."

28. "absolutely. i often throw clothes into the samaritan bin."

29. "bible-gateway happens to be my homepage."

30. "im a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am."

31. "marry me."

32. "can I buy you a non-alcoholic beverage?"

33. "i have many sponsor children. one in each developing nation."

34. " im one of the fortunate ones..greek and hebrew come pretty easily to me."

35. "my favourite species of vegetation is the church plant."

36. "did i just have mud rubbed in my eyes?"

37. "what's an xbox?"

38. "now i know why Solomon had 700 wives... Because he never met you."

39. "i used to believe in natural theology, but since i met you i've converted to divine revelation"

40. "i look after widows"

41. "is that a thinline, duo-tone, compact, ESV Travel Bible in your pocket"

42. "why dont i have a bible dictionary? well, i dont really need it."

43. "bathsheba had nothing on you"

44. ''you put the 'cute' back in persecution...''

45. "your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead"

46. "so, can i clothe you in righteousness?"

47. "how many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?"

48. "how would you like to join my Purpose Driven Life?"

49. "if you say no, i will rip out my hair and my beard"

50. "if you say no, im going to tear my clothes, get in my sackcloth and rub dust into my head.."

51. "if you say no, i'm going on a pilgrimage."

52. "unfortunately i cant perform miracles and ive only got enough bread and fish for 2 people."

53. "so, my parents are home, you wanna come over?"

54. "let me remove my sandals before I come any closer.."

55. "lets say, hypothetically, you were married. I would send your husband to the front line against the Amorites"

56. "its obvious to me that you sprouted from the good kinda soil..."

57. "feel free to meet me at the threshing floor."

58. "you can lie at my feet.."

59. "i know its absurd, but every time i walk towards you, it feels like im being lead to bethlehem."

60. "if i had to choose between a romantic date with you or a night with the fellas... i would sit at home and read my bible."

61. "i really like your spirituality, it goes well with that shirt."

62. "welcome to the christian family... the only family where brothers and sisters can marry each other"

63. "i did a love tester on your name and mine.. it came back 'predestined'"

64. "you're totally depraved but i'd still like to go out with you..."

65. "you can come crash at mine tonight. i have a separate room prepared."

66. "i'm a proverbs 32 kind of guy and you're a proverbs 31 kinda woman..."

67. "im interested in full time ministry, and not only that... i also play the guitar."

68. "mmm... you really have to watch out for that man of lawlessness.. but dont worry, im not him, so you're safe with me."

69. "if we were around with noah... then you, me... pair."

70. "i arrange the substantial christian section of my bookshelf into alphabetical order. coffee?"

71. "i sit with my mum at church"

72. "let me sell you an indulgence because it's a sin to look as good as you do."

73. "not a big fan of your last name, but thats cool, i can change that."

74. "Solomon had 700 wives. You can be my 2nd girlfriend. But bring your friends."

75. "i have a bible verse tattoo. its permanent. its also in ancient greek."

76. "i consider myself to be fisher of women. this would be referred to as "casting my net"."

77. "i'm pretty much considered an elder in the congregation these days"

78. "it would be my honor to present you spotless on the last day."

79." Me. You. Song of Songs: the remix."

80. "when i read philippians 4:8, i think about you."

81. "i would leave 99 sheep to come and find you... and then i would carry you home joyfully on my shoulder"

82. "i prayed up the front at church tonight."

83. "im developing the newest form of singstar: hymns and songs of worship."

84."look, you're nearly 22. most christians are 3 years into marriage by now... just settle for me."

85. "i come from Egypt... the same place Moses lived."

86. "my general biblical knowledge is quite vast, probably because i finished bible trivia as a child."

87. "who's your favorite apostle?"

88. "you make the Queen of Sheba look like a hobo."

89. "i have familiarised myself with all 5 love languages, in fact, i invented 4 of them."

90. "let's go for a ride in my zondervan"

91. "I like to think that I'm all things to all women."

92. "have you died before? because that looks like a resurrection body to me.."

93. 'all im looking for is a Godly woman. i don't care that you're not attractive.'

94. 'you float my ark.'

95. "do you need prayer? because i am certainly willing to lay hands on you"

96. "as Shammah the son of Agee a Hararite protected the field of lentils, so i wish to protect you."

97. "you make me want to be a better Christian."

98. "i will never give you reason to hammer a tent peg through my skull."

99. "i predicted David over Goliath... now I'm betting on you and me."

100. "if you were staying for the tribulation, i would consider staying too.. but then i would probably leave."

101. "if you were a leper, i would still hold your hand.. even if it wasnt attached."

102. "i would have asked you out to dinner, but i just put all my money in the offetory basket."

103. "Hi, I'm Calvin. You were meant to choose me."

104. "Unlike the Israelites, who forgot the Lord, I will remember your name most of the time."

105. "you are a galations 5 fruit salad."

106. "i mentioned you in my testimony."

107. "can you make your decision, because im keen to build a commemorative altar and bunnings is shutting in 15 minutes."

108. "shotgun."

109. "the perseverance of the saints is well illustrated by the amount of time I spend talking to you."

110. "the Lord Jesus was into carpentry. Im doing an apprenticeship."

******************* NEW ********************

111. "If you were my wife, I would never make you pretend to be my sister. That would be too damaging to my reputation."

112. "I would bring your father twelve-hundred Philistine foreskins for just one date with you."

113. "I've been called the 11th Plague of Egypt: Boogy Fever."

Blood Clots Suck

2008-12-16T20:44:00.000-08:00

So yesterday my mom was admitted to the hospital for a blood clot, it was only by the grace of God that they even found it. Its funny how the first day of my alone time with God, I spent most of it praying for others, between friends and their test, family members and their health. The Lord just continually reminds me of what true ministry is all about, serving others.

After one day of my mom being in the hospital, its seems our family was completely lost, I know i was. Its ridiculous how dependent I have become (im not gonna get into it that right now, but lets just say i was starving.)

Even though I am not reading my 30 chapters a day like I wanted to, I have been really blessed by the Lord. I woke up really early this morning and went to see my mom. She was still asleep, so i pulled up a chair and laid hands on her. I don't recall having a prayer time like that in a while, it was awesome. After work I went back to the hospital, and the two of us sat and read some Psalms. Its amazing how the Lord calls His people back to Him through trials. Oh how I need to be called.

Psalms 23:4

For You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me

God's will...

2008-12-14T21:59:00.000-08:00

I heard a story about a man who was watching Charles Haddon Spurgeon cross the street. While he was crossing the street, Spurgeon stopped right in the middle of the street almost being run over by a horse and buggy. He was in a very dangerous place and would not move. But then just as fast as he stopped, he started walking again making his way to a safe place on the side of the road. Later on, the man who was watching Spurgeon asked why in the world would he stop like that in the middle of the road putting his own life at risk? Charles responded with that at that moment he knew he was out of the will of God and he would not take another step until he realized what he needed to do to get back into it.

The last couple of weeks, the Lord has been revealing to me my own heart, and i am truly disgusted by it. I see all the things i have put before my Lord and I have taken Him off the throne. Even the things that seem to be good like ministry, or fellowships, or a church plant. They have taken the place of my saviour. After listening to my Pastor teach this morning, i realized i too must not take another step until i am back in the center of God's will. Just as Jesus was led into the wilderness, i too am being led. So I know this probably sounds retarded to most of you, but i will be leaving for the next forty days, in an attempt to get right with Jesus and do the things which i use to do.

What Happens When You Go Against LA?

2008-12-08T17:40:00.000-08:00

YOU GET OWNED!!!

Los Angeles Lakers 17-2

Who's Next?

THE END OF AN ERA???

2008-12-07T15:09:00.000-08:00

One of the highlights of my week is attending church on saturday nights with Pastor Brian Brodersen. I was not able to attend last night (which is a whole other post i will not get into now) so listen to the study on KWAVE. As Brian was speaking I started to think of how influential this man has been in my life. God has used Brian to encourage me, to correct me, to challenge me, to knock me on my butt and realize how amazing God's grace is. Its hard for me to really sit here and try to put into words how the Lord has used him to minister to me.

So after the message Brian started to go into some announcements. Brian dropped a bomb on us, even though I knew it was coming, it was still a shock to hear. He said that last night, December 6th was his last night teaching the saturday night study. Brian's reason is that there is an age gap in the church that needs to be reached. Looking at this age group, which I am a part of (barley) I see the lack of kids who know the Lord. I love how CC Costa Mesa sees this and feels the need to reach this generation. Im excited to see what the Lord does but at the same time I feel like I did when Wayne Gretzky left the Los Angeles Kings, yeah he was still playing hockey, but he wasn't in LA anymore. Its only out of a selfish desire I feel like this, even though he won't teach Saturday nights I know that Brian will continue to be a blessing to CCCM on wednesday nights and sunday mornings and I am really excited to see what the Lord does through Michael Smith as well.

Even though I am saddened by this news, i see how the Lord has raised up other pastors in my life who are not afraid to bring the word and teach it with authority as being the very breathed word of God. Men like Erik Tribble, Scott Cunningham, Al Abdula, Abraham De Alba, Craig Coffen, and my own pastor John Randall. Its amazing to see the faithfulness of God.

"Let his days be few,

and let another take his place."

Psalms 109:8

my first blog

2008-12-01T19:39:00.000-08:00

I just celebrated my 29th birthday on tuesday the 25th of Nov. But it really has no meaning to me now. Today is the day that I am excited about. Three years ago my life was changed drastically.

My cousin, who was a teacher at MCA, for years had been asking me to come with her to church, i would never go. But for some reason this time was different. I knew that i was missing something in my life but i didn't know what. I went with her not expecting much, since i thought i was already a christian. I had been gone church, i was even leading worship at the time. But the moment i walked in those doors at Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa on that monday night i knew something was different.

I remember loving the music. I had never heard worship played like that. Then came the message from Garrid Beeler. I remember being so mad at my cousin cause i thought she talked to the pastor about me. It seemed like everything he was saying was for me. I regret to say that when the invitation came, i did not go forward. But the Holy Spirit did a mighty work in my life that night, He truly came to my rescue.

Its hard to believe what the Lord has done in my life in only three years. The Lord has allowed me to go to England to share the good news, to lead worship with my sister and my best friends at CC SJC, Refuge, and for the Saturday Night Study. I am blessed to teach a bible study for the past 2 and a half years, so see the power of the word of God transform lives. I was blessed to spend a year of my life at the School of Worship. Not only has my life been changed, but my parents and my sister as well.

I look back and say "Its only been three short years"

Im so excited to see what the Lord has for me in the next 5 years 15 years 25 years... to live is Christ, to die is gain.